With only the understanding of an undesirable experience, a non-generous response (such as anger, annoyance, irritation and so on) is natural. Unfortunately, responding non-generous makes others feel uncomfortable. This can also lead to responding non-generously to generous experiences that follow.
To genuinely respond to undesirable experiences in a generous way, know the following information deeply so that it is obvious to you how to respond generously.
The generous way to respond to undesirable experiences is understanding the following:
Your greatest growth and benefit will come from recognizing that you are thinking of a generous response. It could even put a smile on your face. If you do this for all undesirable experiences, you are well on your way to making it an automatic response (a habitual response that requires little effort to maintain).
In addition to the above guidance, realize that a generous undesirable experience is generous. It is the greatest achievable result. Embrace the generous emotions, sensations, feelings as this is genuine. For example, the death of a loved one can produce the feeling of loss, which is a generous response. Using the above guidance, your consideration includes when to end the custom of mourning (not the emotions as that happens naturally) and when to return to your normal activities of achieving.
The above general guidance can be used here. This section helps you understand the generous response.
Asking for more information, or an explanation, is a generous way to respond to an undesirable experience created by a person since it is possible that:
Enquiring encourages the sharing of information and expresses that you believe it was unintentional instead of intentional (which is generous). Enquiring can enlighten a person of something overlooked or can encourage the person to enlighten you of a generous undesirable experience. Your enquiry also anticipates how the person will feel from your enquiry (will what you say offend the person?).
When the person responds non-generously to an enquiry, the generous response is one of the following:
As you learn generosity, you might discover that you have misguided habits to overcome. Do what you can to correct the undesirable experience you create. Give it consideration so that you can encourage a generous habit to replace the misguided habit.